


lost it all

by UnluckiestFridays



Series: Series Twelve [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22135246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnluckiestFridays/pseuds/UnluckiestFridays
Summary: What if the ending to Spyfall part two had gone a little differently? Meaning, the fam are there when the Doctor has to check something.
Series: Series Twelve [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1593247
Comments: 20
Kudos: 173





	lost it all

**Author's Note:**

> Do not read if you haven't watched it yet! I don't want to be responsible for you ruining it for yourself.
> 
> Thank you.

"I have to check something," the Doctor tells them as the Master's words resurface in her mind.

When she remembers what he'd said about Gallifrey. He's obviously lying, just to hurt her, to get under her skin, but... She just has to check. 

"Can we come with you?" Yaz asks hopefully. There's a hint of concern behind her eyes and, looking at Ryan and Graham, behind theirs too.

She doesn't want them to worry about her. They've done far too much worrying the past couple of days when they thought she'd left them. Or worse, been killed. 

So, hesitantly, she nods. 

Gallifrey is fine. There's no use leaving them here. Besides, they've always wanted to see her home planet. She's been too afraid in the past to take them. Humans aren't allowed on Gallifrey. Well, they can still see it from a distance. They Citadel is really a sight to behold, as much as she hates to credit her own race for it.

"Yes, but do as I say," she says to the fam.

"Course," Ryan nods his agreement.

Good.

She leads them back inside the TARDIS and when the doors close behind Graham, she inputs the coordinates for her home planet, inside the little bubble universe. 

"Where are we goin'?" Graham asks predictably once they're in flight. He's holding onto one of the pillars.

"My home planet, Gallifrey," she reveals and, for once, she turns off the brakes. She feels nauseous all of sudden.

Maybe bringing them isn't a good idea. What if the Master wasn't lying?

"What?" Ryan and Yaz blurt in shock.

Right, she's never told them about where she comes from before. They don't even know her species. 

The TARDIS lands all too soon and she's forced to step away from the console. She eyes her fam who are eying her in return. Waiting for her to make the first move.

With a nod to herself, she stalks passed them and towards the doors. With trembling hands, she pulls them open, and...

And it's gone.

It's just as he said. He wasn't lying.

Everyone's dead. It's just... Just a pile of smoking ashes. 

The Citadel no longer stands tall and proud, and _shining_ in the light of the two suns, its _destroyed_.

She's barely seen the damage and still, she breathes in a shaking breath followed by an unwanted sob, and she needs to stop crying, her fam are there, but she can't. She can't stop.

Her home.

Her home is gone. 

Demolished. 

"No, no, no, no," she whines, falling to her knees.

Her hands meet her hair, tugging lightly, trying to tell herself that of she doesn't feel the pain in her scalp, then it's not real. Then her home isn't a pile of _nothing_ in the distance. But she can feel it.

It hurts. 

It hurts so, so much.

Her hearts and combusting inside her chest and she wants... 

She doesn't know.

She wants Gallifrey back. 

All of those children, not even at the Academy yet, and their lives were taken before they had a chance to regenerate, to save themselves.

A wail tears itself from her throat and she can't do anything but claw at the red dirt on the ground, trying to bring her home back with her bare hands in some way, and she wants to die with them. 

She's all alone again. 

The last of her kind. 

Once again. 

And, oh god, she can't do this _again_.

" _No_! Please, please don't leave me again! _Please_!"

A pair of arms circle around her, encasing her, and she struggles against the feel of Graham's comforting presence because she doesn't _want_ it- she just doesn't want to be alone again.

She can't do it. 

Not again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Oof.


End file.
